The wolf in me me(EV)
by banja2012
Summary: Bella learned to live half alive after Edward left her.And when Jacob couldnt save her from being bitten by Paul,everything changes.And when her destiny comes knocking on her door,will she open it?And will the persons from her past ready to accept it?Bella/Edward story( wolf Bella)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** The twilight series as his caracteres are owned by Stephanie Meyer.

**Autor note:**I already publish these same story in Portuguese,but I decided that maybe I should try the English is not my native language I hope there aren't many mistakes,and wait for the reviews and constructive criticism.

I Always took comfort from the simplicity that was my life, never asked for more and never contented myself with less, happiness was something that I thought felt when my mother took the night of to take a walk by the sea with me, eating greasy burgers that had in the nearest tent or the healthier salad , depending on the moment in Renne´s life, but whatever it was, was simple, comfortable, something for which I waited the whole month.

When I moved to Charlie's house, I knew that those moments of happiness would be less frequent, not because I loved him less lthat my mother but simply because Renne would not be there, as well as the beach, the heat, the desert, those little things that afforded me the moments of happiness that I anticipated.

Little did I know that those moments were just dull and colorless memories of those who would be my days with ... Edward. The mornings were full of color, every moment together a remembrance loved, lived and detail that marked my being as an was not something I took for granted. Was something fleeting, each moment an explosion of incredible sensations and images that made me wondered countless times if I was crazy, closed somewhere, because everything was perfect as delusional I wonder what I did to deserve all this? The answer was simple,I didn't. And the proof came in a fateful September afternoon, when the words "you're everything to me" were replaced with "I do not want you" or the "I love you" that made my blood boil every time they leave his perfect lips, for "I will always love you, in a way, "and suddenly those loved memories h became a distant dream that I try every day not to forget, and not to remember, not forget because they would forever be the happiest moments of my life, and not remember because I knew I would never be that happy again.

And so I survived on a daily basis, "survived" because once you feel this kind of happiness all the rest are just passing shadows.

So 5 months have passed, but pain has not diminished,I just got used to it enough to function as a normal human being, or almost.I ate when Charlie was watching and tried to sleep enough to made trough the rest of the day without falling to the the beginning i tried to look for my own "distractions" but soon I realize that even the more simple ones like television, music and even literature that I adored so much, brought memories that paralyzed me with pain, and little by little, I was deleting one by one until there was nothing but study and look into the void. Sleeping was not an option when it came to comfort me or to rest the constant attacks to my mind, Because it was when I slept that the memories were more vivid and worst of all, completely uncontrollable. I lived in a constant state of absence of myself,fatigue and quiet resignation that already was so typical of me.I did not ask for and did not expect any less.

My friends eventually gave up on me, do not blame them I was an animated corpse and no one longs for the company of these, but deep down knew that they were afraid of saying something or doing something that broke me once then left me alone with my despair , and thanked me, had nothing to say or to someone who had never given up on me by deeper I hit, and I hit bottom, Jacob was my sun, and now the proportioner of my little moments, not happiness , I can not call it that, but it also was not a mere distraction, were moments of life, whether it is called living.

Everything was so easy with him, had to pretend he was alive, he had a soul and a heart that HE knew when we had them together I could feel a tiny, tiny part of my heart and soul were still here, and every time we spent together they grew a bit which leads me to this moment, when the only person I "helped to survive" tells me that I do not want to see more.

-I do not understand Jacob-My voice sounded as confused as I felt.

-We can not see Bella, please stop calling me and I try not to look, if you know what's good for you, away from me.

NO, NO! ... This can not be happening, it's a nightmare, I must have fallen asleep on the couch again, Bella wakes up.

-Jacob whatever I've done, I'm sorry ... I know it's not easy being with me, but I swear I try ,I try, please ... not ... don t do this to me ... I need you please - my voice was pleading and tears flowed without permission, but I would not let him go,no, I COULDN'T let it go, it didn't matter if I was being selfish or not.

-Bella-his tone was fierce but left his anguish shine-I do not wanna see you anymore, I ... I'm not ... good for you.

-Jacob, dont say that, you are better than I deserve, better that I will ever be,please just ..

-NO, STOP ... I do not wanna see you anymore, I'm sick of your constant depression, its dragging me with you .. just let me be!

The panic began to settle and my voice was reaching almost an hysterica pointl, but I was willing to do anything to made him stay,even if a little voice in the back of my head was telling me he was right, I was not a good company for anyone and definitely not the best friend he could get, but I needed him and would do anything to see him happy, I can change, cant I?

But do you want to change? My subconscious knew my reluctance to change this comfortable reality that I have built around me,I was scared to change because I did not know what to expect,and was what scare me the even if I did change,did I have anything left to give to him?No,I don't think I had,but maybe,just maybe I could be enough.

-ITS SAM ISN'T IT?Its him that told to say these things Jake, this is not you, you always knew that I was not oK,and you always accept that ... but I can change, if you give me more time maybe I'll try. .

-Maybe I´m tired of trying to fix you, have you thought about that?-He was being rude, he wanted to hurt me, he wanted me to quit but why?

-I don't believe it-there was no conviction in my words. Maybe he has had enough of me, I seem to had that effect on people -Jacob, we need to talk better ...

-NO ..-his tone startled me, there was something very wrong, he was rushing me,and was not giving me any explanations - Have a good life Bella, take care,goodbye.

He hung up even before I had an opportunity to answer, this was not my Jacob, something happened, something terrible to turn my cheerful and carefree friend in this person rude and unknown to me, I would find out what it was, if it was against his desires what is the worst that could happen? He told me not he didn't want me .The pain that hit me at that moment left me breathless, he didn't want me, no, that's not what he told you,he said I don't want to see you anymore, but the similarity of these words didn't left my head,What was with me that everyone I love gets tired sooner or later?'Am I so miserable?i was stepping into a mined field with this thoughts but rather to give myself to despair and pain I decided to put them in a box and deal with them later .Jacob needs me, I will not let anyone destroy the person he is, especially that Sam, and this sparked an unknown rage in me. I´been a desensitized to almost everything these last few months,that these new unknown feeling woke it was good or bad,it remained to be seen.

-This will not stand, he has to give me an explanation,I cant believe ..

-Who are you talking to Bella?-I was so distracted that I didn't hear the knock on the door, but it was also something that I was already used to,for my senses were in a constant state of obliteration for some time now.

-I was talking to Jacob, am going to the reservation-As soon as the words left my mouth, I put my old AlStars on, took the keys from my old van and went downstairs without even asking Charlie´s permeation, he knew that the presence of Jacob brought me peace, and he would have no opposition I meet him.

The journey to the reservation was short, not by the speed of the truck but because of the spiral of thoughts that clouded everything else around me.I was grateful for the fact that I did this path numerous times and that way I needed the minimum attention to do it,and could think about the question that was pounding in my mind, what exactly would I say?

I didn't had much time to think, because as soon as I stopped the van beside the little red house, I saw Sam and Paul leaving through the front door. Quickly I took the seat-belt of,witch I had no recollection of having put on, and slam the door behind me with much more force than necessary .As soon as their eyes rested on me, alerted by the noise, my temper won the fight with my rationality and I confronted them.

-What did you do to Jacob, Sam? Your little cult hadn't enough disciples so you decided to go all vacuum cleaner salesman and knock all the doors of the reserve to sell your crazy theories?- I was out control, he was at least twice my size,, but I didn't feel threatened, I wanted answers and hey, what the hell, I have nothing else to lose.

-Bella,go home, you shouldn't be here - his tone was calm, almost complacent, which ignited my already out of control "evil genius".

-I am not one of your disciples Sam, you can t tell me what to do - he was completely delusional if he thought he could control me like he control those Rez boys.

-who you think you are ?,can t you take a hint?, Jacob doesn't want to see you - This time it was Paul who talked, Sam looked at him with an air of authority, but he did not see him, and kept on - What do you want from Jacob, ha? information to the enemy your filthy traitor?-his words made no sense for me, but he was spitting them with a rage so strong that I could almost felt it touch every part of my body.

-Paul, enough ... Bella, I think its better for you to go home,Charlie must be worried, when Jacob .. feel better .. I am sure he will tell you.

I heard his words, but my attention was in the extremely exalted teenager next to look he was giving me was deadly, I know I was being rude, but the hatred emanating from him went well beyond the trim that someone feels when offended,his huge figure was shaking up and down, and when my eyes came back to find his, for the first time in a long time I felt fear.

-I want to talk to him now, I know Jake, I know he's not well ... he might need me ..

-You know he is not well? What does he say? What you know traitor? Going to call all your little friends?-His words once again did not make any sense to me, my only friend was Jake and I was unable to betray him in any way,I would do anything to help him. And was that thought that gave me the strength to say the words that followed.

-I´m a better friend that you ever be,here the only traitor is you Paul, you were the one that join Sam ´s cult instead of protecting your friends!

And it was with these words that everything exploded .

Paul twisted like crazy person,while Sam screamed to me to get away,what is wrong with him,is he having a stroke? I felt someone pulling my hand and startled me since I had not seen anyone come close, but when I looked to see who it was, I heard a loud sound completely unrecognizable but terrifying ,and when I looked back at the two men, I saw that I was only in the presence of one of them, and that in place of Paul was a huge bear, or so I thought, but when I looked more closely I saw that it wasn't really was bear, but a huge wolf and his eyes were fixed on me.

-Bella, get out of here, NOW!-Billy's voice was urgent and authoritative, but despite being scared and my mind tell me to run, I couldnt leave him there at the mercy of that monster.

Billy-No, I'll help you ..!, And I grabbed his hand, as I was turning around to grab the chair I heard Sam´s voice warning me again.

-Bella get out of here! Paul calms you as you command your Alfa ..

Why wasn't he running for him to,was I the only one seeing the danger there?But it was too late, the giant wolf came towards me and in a reaction of self-defense and put my left arm in front of my face, as I did it I felt something ripping it that made me screamed aloud, the pain was horrible and in a matter of seconds I saw my arm inside the mouth of the wolf, he threw me into the air like a rag doll, causing me to fall on the hood of my truck several yards from the place where I was.I was facing down and my arm forward when i lifted my head what I saw shocked me and led me to believe that I would die arm was twisted in an unnatural angle, with cuts so deep I could see the bone, the blood draining at an alarming rate, was that piece of torn flesh that was my arm,that made me realize that everything was over, I would die right there at the mercy of that showfreak, and if finished the rest of my body as my arm, not even Charlie would recognize me. Charlie ... no parent deserved to see their child in this state, he did not deserve anything I been doing these last months, he was really suffering, and now he was receiving the final blow, I finally succeeded, I destroyed all those I loved. As the adrenaline left my body I started to feel an uncontrollable fatigue,I couldn't see the wolf any more,but I didn't care,it was over.

-BELLAAAA! The urgency in Jacob´s voice was the last thing I heard before the panic for the life of my friend hit me and I plunge into darkness.

I knew I was dreaming,I always do,all my dreams start the same way but these one was different.

It was very dark, I was by myself, barefoot, naked, and I didn't know where to go, there was not a single sound surrounding me. But this was not the weird part in my dream, that was the part that I already was accustomed to. What was strange was that I wasn't afraid, I knew that whatever it was that lurked in the darkness I could face it,and i am will win.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP ...

The shrill sound of the machine, reached me into the depths of my dream, and brought me back to consciousness .I didnt need to look around to know where I was, I had an extensive experience with hospitals, and the noise of the machine was not sufficiently familiar the smell surely was.

In a metter of minutes everything that happened start coming back to me,the wolf,Billy...Jacob!

What happened?'The last thing I remembered was the voice of my friend screaming my name, after the wolf attack me ...

No, Jacob, No. .. what happened to him?Did he tried to fend off the monster of and get hurt doing it,or worse?, And Sam, Billy?

I pulled the needles linked to the medical equipment in an attempt to search for the remaining victims of my attack, but when the needle left my left my left hand, something clicked in my head.

-My arm ..-it took me a few seconds to look when the latest images of my arm hit me like a tonne of bricks, but as soon as I opened and closed my hand, I felt only a slight discomfort, my eyes went to him and what I saw left me in the least astonished.

I remembered the sorry state and for certain irreparable my arm was, but what I remembered and what was in front of me were two things completely different The last time I saw it he was a mess, but instead of the horrible image that a remembered, there were a few small lines, a pale pink, which would almost be unnoticed. My stomach sank, and I felt myself freeze.

Impossible .. how long am I here?

-2 days -responded my father to my unspoken question - but this is the first time I see you conscious Bells,how are you feeling?

-Ok I think - My voice was hoarse almost unrecognizable.

-Did you remember what happened?-Charlie's voice sounded tired, but what really worried me were his words ... 2 days ..That wasn't possible, was it? was not, my arm did not recover so fast.

-What happened?- my voice sounded better than his, I managed to hide the shock I felt at that moment.

-You fell in the forest Bells, Sam found you at the entrance of the reserve bleeding, lying on the ground. What were you doing in the forest Isabella, when I strictly told you it was dangerous , there are many bears around, you know better than that Bella!-He was now angry, very angry. But I was not in the forest, was I? NO, I went to see Jacob, argued with Sam and Paul, and Billy was there too, so why was I in the forest? They saw that huge wolf attack me did they took me to that fores?that didn't make any sense.

-No, I went to see Jake and then ...

-Whe had a little discussion and you decided to take a walk to calm yourself, Bells .Tht was a bad idea, you could have found a bear and died.-Jacob found himself leaning in the door, he appeared to be relaxed, but the look he has directed me when telling his little story said otherwise.

-What? .. No.. my arm was destroyed .. was a giant wolf .. Billy-my anxiety left me baffled and the words that come out of my mouth were piling up meaningless. If my idea was to prove that Charlie I was telling the truth, I was doing a terrible job.

-A giant wolf? What are you talking about Bells? I dont understand, Jacob?

-She is confused Charlie is medication- the arrogant tone that he was using irritated me beyond reason,why was he making me pass as a liar? Or crazy? He was there, I heard him, he saw what I saw.

-I'm fine thanks for asking- I said bitterly to him- and I know exactly what I'm saying, Billy was there too, like Paul, I mean, he was no longer there, but Sam, they saw the wolf attack me, and my arm ... he was broken, he threw me onto the car, and...

-Wow, calm down Bells, are you telling me that you were attacked by a wolf? And he broke your arm?-He looked at my arm, and his look said it all "you r confused".

-It's like I told you Charlie, is the medication- he once again intervened to put the doubt in my words, what was he doing?

-You were also there, I heard you call me ...

-No Bella,you left the house after the little discussion we had, and went into the forest - The tone he was using was undoubtedly to ridicule me and to show Charlie that my story made no sense.

-NO! I DIDNT EVEN TALKED TO YOU BECAUSE I SAW SAM AND PAUL FIRST! THEN THE WOLF APPEARED ,GRABBED ME BY THE ARM AND THREW ME UP AGAINST MY VAN,YOU KNOW THESE YOU SAW IT TO,WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!-I was screaming but he didn't even flinch and Charlie was just surprised by my outburst.

-Bella , you very confused, you saw Sam and Paul getting out of my house and you were mad at me for taking time for them and not non for you. After you left and said you were going for a walk to think,Iwaited around an hour before I call Sam to come and help me look for you, which was not necessary since he met you on the way to my house .. and your arm suffered only a few minor scratches you can hardly say that was broken,drama queen as always- ended the story with a smile, I could see that he had thought the story well before, and that it was built so there is no doubt for anyone but me ..

-Why are you doing this Jacob?-I felt crushed,my only friend was treating me lik crazy liar,when a need him the most.

-I'm just telling the truth Bella, maybe you should sleep a little longer to see if the rest of the medication strips of your system ..

-I DO NOT WANT TO SLEEP! I M VERY SANE AND I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!-I was livid, I felt a burning rage within me, I just wanted to screaming and toss them until they believe in me.

-WHY YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN WHAT I'M SAYING ... I AM NOT CRAZY! -Good idea-it is the first thing a crazy person would say, and given my repertoire in the recent months, do not think Charlie will give the benefit of the doubt, it only infuriates me more, is so unfair ...

-Calm down Bells -The frightened voice of Charlie came to me, pulling me from anger and hysteria that were consuming me-what is going one honey, I never seen you like this?

Neither did I, where that come from?Something came over me a moment ago an unknown and dangerous thing that I could not control, and when my eyes meet those of Jacob I saw he knew exactly what it was, the worse, was that watever it was,he was scared of it.


	2. Chapter 2

The silence was deafening. Jacob and Charlie had left the room to let me rest, or better," to sleep it of" like Jacob put idea that I was confuse due to the hospital medication was absolutely ridiculous,I didn't felt this lucid in a long time,or so awake,witch was odd. The events that took place two days ago should have left me exhausted, mentally and physically, and been medicated during these last two days should have left me confused,but I didn't feel neither. What I felt was a huge anger from my best friend who made me look like I was crazy to the eyes of my already suspicious father.

Why did he lie like that? Why contradicted himself, when he saw what happened with is own he going to do the same to the other witnesses? And more importantly, why bother to come up with a story so detailed to deny me?I only had one answer in my mind, Sam. He didn't come to the hospital once,the same as should have told Jake to tell that story to hide the fact that it was the his mutant wolf that attack does he feed that animal, plutonium? He was freaking huge,it scared me to death,it was the strangest creature I ever seen,and I have seen some strange things in my short life.

But even if I tried to blame everything on Sam,I was still very hurt with my best friend,because even though he told Jacob to do so, he sided with him instead of me, he could simply have said no to if he was threatened?That was a never seem the kind of person that kept secrets,he was a open book, always said what was on his mind all that time,was one of the things that I loved the most about him,but seeing his attitude these last few days,can I really say that knew him?I had increasingly more questions and absolutely no answers.

And so in a matter of two days I found myself completely alone again.I would have thought that would not make a difference, after all, I was five months completely alone,some would thought that i was used to it, but that was before Jacob had created his own space in my life and now ripped it from me, leaving one more hole in my heart.

I felt desolated, my life had increasingly less sense, and was becoming more difficult and mining-less, that at times i just wished that that wolf had finished what he started. Perhaps would have been easier for me , and for everyone! Anyone who get close enough to know me,would quickly get tired of my clumsiness, and constant need to be Renee, she wanted to enjoy life with her new love, and I was just a nuisance, a past mistake that haunted her every day,reminding her of everything that she had done wrong. Charlie also would be better off without me, without a doubt,I wasn't the most entertaining house guest,I lie to him, and wasn't exactly a source of pride and joy..Edw ...He was perfect in every way, how does a girl clumsy and dull as me, could even have dream t to keep him, or believed he had been mine, even for a short there was Jacob, always cheerful and full of life,he didn't deserved a person so broken and incomplete, he deserved better, all of them did, and I would never be enough.

My new found clarity was showing me that is not worth fighting to look good or normal, I was transparent, they all saw who I really was, and none of them wanted what they ones that stayed,did it because they felt sorry for me,and that was something that i did not want or need, I´m not petty but I have my pride.

In the middle of my inner speech I heard a voice sweet and horrifying first I thought that I was going crazy,just like Jacob predicted,but even in my most precious memories or wildest dreams I could never have imagined that voice so perfectly and clearly as it was now.

-I´m here to see the patient Isabella Swan,please.

These couldn't be was here,and to see me,why?I missed her terribly,but with time I get used to the idea that i would never see her again,just like He didn't care what happened me,i wasn't even worth to say goodbye to them, their distraction,so why was she here?And suddenly it came to me"Shes here to check on you,to see if you kept your side of the bargain,to see if you were a good girl and didn't hurt yourself",But she must have seen what happen she knew I wouldn't do these to myself."But didn't you thought about that just moments ago?"

And I felt immediately guilty.I was never suicidal,even in my worst moments,when the pain was so bad that I can breath,even in that first weak,I could never do that to my parents,they didn't deserve to deal with something like that.

-Are you a family member?-the nurse asked stating the obvious, there was no way that girl was related to me,and she must have known Carlisle,so she knew, we where not related in any way.,I didn't like the day nurse,she was like an emotionless robot,doing her work and not caring about anything else.

-No,but I´m a god friend of the family,if you want you can ask Chief Swan,he give me his permission.

-I will check,give me a minute.

She talked with Charlie,so he must have told her that I was a little Alice must have seen what happen so she would know I was telling the truth.

I was happy that she was where,I have missed her every day,but at the same time I knew that I would fall apart as soon as she leave again,I have to be cautious and not put my hopes at the same time I was disappointed that was her,he didnt want to see me at all,his ex that couldn't move on,so he send her to do his dirty work.

This rise a new wave of anger in me, replacing the previous sadness,Whats going on with me today?

-You can go in,the visit ends in 30 minutes,shes in room 23.

-Thank you.

I thought about going to look at myself in the mirror,I must have looked like crap,but was a mot was no way I could get a tan and 10 pounds in the hospital bathroom.I just have to act like I'm fine and sane,so that when he sees this in her mind,if cared enough for that of course,i wouldn't look totally pathetic.

After a few seconds there was gentle knock on the I didn't answer she put her little head inside and asked.

-Can I come in? Her voice was sweet but insecure, she knew she should not be there.

-Enter Alice!

I wanted her to know that I knew it was her,and that she didn't caught me of soon as I said the words she storm in.

-Hi Bella! How are you? I missed you so much, I was so worried, Charlie said you were fine but I had to see for myself, how do you feel?

She fired questions at a speed that only Alice could do, as if no time had passed and these was just a cordial visit.I try to keep cool and calm, looking at her design jeans, black high heals,and her beautiful white cardigan sweater, but when I looked to the stunning face of what was my best friend, who still is for me, I forgot all the rage and felt an overwhelming happiness. These strong emotion caught me by surprise, choking me and making the tears I was trying to hold start running furiously.

-Alice, I miss you so much!

I hugged her tightly,I missed her so much, she was my only confidant throughout the time I spent with HIM, the one that was on my side even when he wasn't .In that moment that she hugged me and held me while I cryed i knew that despite everything that happened I still loved her,all of them,and that she really miss me to, and I didn't feel so alone anymore..After a few minutes she shifted uncomfortably and loosen my arms a little bit, as if she were suffocating, I felt a twinge of rejection, but then she clened my tears very gently with the tissues who were beside the bed, and held my hands with affection.

-Bella, I missed you too,I hardly knew what happened and I caught the first plane toward Washington, how did this happen?

-Did you saw what happened?-I needed at least one person that believed in me.

-No,I was reading my magazines, you know that I like to keep abreast of all, when I saw you in your van and suddenly everything went black, really black Bella, I could not see for even if I tryed, you can not imagine how it scared me, I thought you ...

-Died?

-Yes, what happened Bella?Charlie told me that you were attacked by an animal, what were you doing wandering alone in the woods?-your air was now angry and accusatory-whe told you times not to go alone into the forest,you should know how dangerous it is.

What the hell is wrong with these people, why would anyone hear me? I was not alone in the forest, and if it were? Forks its 80 % forest,unless your agoraphobic its kind of difficult to avoid seems the story of Little Red Riding Hood, everyone says not to go to the forest, to be afraid of the big bad wolf but guess what,the big bad wolf wasn't in the forest,it was at my best friend front door.I just wanted to people stop judging me and just listen for once.

-I WAS NOT WANDERING ALONE IN THE WOODS ALICE, I HAVE BEEN ATTACKED IN LA PUSH BY A HUGE WOLF,IN THE FRONT DOOR OF MY BEST FRIEND, AND EVEN IF I WERE, WHAT HAVE YOU HAVE WITH IT?YOU ALL LEFT I LONG TIME AGO. - iI screamed angrly, but as soon as the words left my mouth I regretted it immediately, she was not to blame for what had happened to me, she had a hurt look that was so strange on her face, Alice was always smiling and often too excited but I had never seen her sad, and knowing that I was the one who provoked that sadness, cut me of and I was suddenly assaulted by the panic that she would go away.

-Sorry Ali, is not your fault, I'm just a little nervous, no one believes that I was not wandering in the forest, I didnt want to yell at you, I missed you so much.

Her expression softened a bit, but I knew that the interrogation was not over yet.

-Then tell me what happened, I believe in you Bella - and I knew the words were true.

So I tell her in detailed what had happened, just from the phone call until waking up in the expression was impassive but the fact that she was shaking her Gucci purse to the point of damage it, showed that she was anything but. I finished my story and kept silence,waiting for her reaction silence stretched for a few seconds until she spoke again.

-You saw werewolf?-Her voice was serious but her face was incredulous - only you to find more trouble in the supernatural world in the most boring city of the universe. Your chance do not want to give rest Bella, I told him.

I ignored her last comment,I didn't want to talk about it, not yet.

-Werewolf? Was what it was? But can not be Alice, was morning ..

-Bella didnt you learned anything with the time you passed with my family?I thought it had opened your mind, and definitely shown that many of the beliefs are just legends, it's broad daylight and I'm here am I not?-She was mocking me and showing me the obvious.

The truth is that this possibility had not yet occurred to me, did not know much about it, but it made sense, and if it really was the case, the werewolf was Paul! I knew there was something strange and dangerous as soon as I look into his eyes.I really could not escape the supernatural, I think when we enter this world we only have a one way ticket.

-Did he bite you?-The question was asked calmly and carefully, but I felt the alarm behind her voice.

-Yes, in my left arm, I thought I had made that clear when I told you he ripped my arm to shreds,why?

-Nothing, curiosity I guess... must have hurt a lot, huh?

-Yes-it was terrible, I thought I would die -I uttered the last words very slowly and low,I hadnt said that to Charlie I didnt wanted to scare Charlie,it was enough to say it was a giant wolf.

-I know Bella ,but everything turn out fine, didn't? Maybe you should keep your distance from La Push.

-Yes, actually better than I expected, .. I hope not to get too many scars, I have already enough of that as you know.

Reminding her of the times she had to bathe me after the events in Phoenix, I blushed,she really knew me like nobody else.

Alice was very quiet and thoughtful, which was not normal, what was she hiding me?

-Alice what happen?

-Nothing ... I was thinking about what I have to pack to bring, and I have to schedule trips.

-Package? Travels? Your moving again - I was curious, I knew she would not tell me where they were going, but perhaps if she said where they were until now,I would feel more close to them somehow, although it does not change anything.

-Yes, its unexpected but we are used to it-She smiled affectionately.

-Do not like the place you where?-I was Stretching the matter and she knew it.

-No, things have changed a lot for all of us.

The answer was vague, so I tried not to think about that any more,she came to see me, which is more than some people did.

-You are all ... um ... in the same place?

-Yes, but just a month, everyone had some time apar t- she knew where I was going.

-He is at home Bella, he does not even know that I came, he would cut my head off if he knew you came to see you without saying anything, and then the rest of the body if he knew what happened to you, but now I have no choice but to tell him.

The last words were whispered.I didn't understand what she was sayng. He had no interest in my life, he had made that clear, maybe he thought I had done something crazy for him,was I really that pathetic to him?

-Is Jasper with you?

I wanted to change the subject, the pain that awaited me after this meeting would already be difficult enough i didn't need press it further.

-No, and he didn't wanted me to come either,he thinks we should respect the wishes of Edward.

And so she gave that name and I felt the wound in my chest throbbing in anticipation, as to warn that the night would be terrible.

-Im sorry that I caused you troubles with Jasper Alice,I hope your ok.

-Sure,you know me,I always get my way -She winked at me.´How I know how true that was.

-The visits are needs her rest.

The nurse peered again and close the door,30 minutes had passed already? .

-Well I have to go Bella, you cant imagine how I felt your absence, things are not the same without you.

- I felt really missed you Alice, please stay a litlle longer..- _I was pleading,I didn't want her to go away, with her here at least part of the hole in my chest was repaired and I needed her so much, especially now that my ex best friend stabbed me in the back.

-Don t worry Bella I´ll see you very soon, I'm not going anywhere without you ever again.

The words surprised me, and at the same time filled me with hope again, she gave a big smile, hugged me tight and gave me a kiss on the forehead, turned up to give a brief wave and left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

My last day in the hospital passed quickly as I hoped it would.

Angela and Ben made a visit, which made me happy, she had always been a faithful friend and I loved her sincere and selfless spirit, and despite not being a good friend these past months, she once again showed that she was there when I most needed her,she enter the room shyly,bringing with her balloons and a card from my other colleagues.

I not really cared that they had not been there, I think the rumors have already spread enough without the help from the long tongue of Jessica and Lauren, and Mike, well that one I simply didn't know handle his infatuation.

- We were so concerned Bella, I saw one of these bears in the last walk Ben and I toke and it was huge, it must have been so scary. - She was really worried, and I didn't know what to say, so I decided to go with the current story, at least until I speak with Jake again,thatI hoped would be very soon.

-It was,but it was all so fast, didn't even had time to really think about it-I was always a terrible liar, so I hoped they didn't notice the hesitation in my voice.

- I'm sorry didnt believed you Angie - Ben kissed her sweetly in the face and she blushed, it was a such a sweet gesture that made me feel as embarrassed as her.

Ben was a little shorter than her, who saw him knew he was smart, he was a little awkward but his dark brown eyes, gentle and sincere gave him a certain charisma, no wonder that Angela was so in love and happy, they were perfect to each other. I felt a pang of envy, was so simple and easy with them,but I repressed the thought, if anyone deserved to be happy, that someone was Angela.

- Despite what happened, you seem to be doing well Bella, you even gain some weight!

-BEN, you shouldn't said something like that to a girl - Angela elbowed him lightly in the ribs and he shrugged repenting the commentary immediately.

I was never a vain person so that king of comment didn't really offended me,but I felt really surprised I didn't saw myself in the mirror yet,but I thought I looked like he was just being nice.

-Ouch! Sorry Bella,I didn't want to offend you , I was just trying to say that you look much better than the last time we met, don't you think so Angie? - She looked sideways with an accusing look, but when she saw the look of sincere regret in his eyes she forgave him...like I said before,was all so easy.

She then glanced at me,probably really paying attention to my figure for the first time and seemed a bit confused by what she was seeing.

-To tell the truth Bella, he's right, you look much better.

After talking a bit more, especially the school work that Angela wanted me to keep up with the promise to lend me her notes, I said goodbye sadly to both of them. Alice's visit has left extremely happy, but the feelings and dreams after her departure, were not so pleasant, and the fact that were 4 o'clock and time of visits have ended without a appearance made me feel deeply depressed.

To take my mind of things,I picked up the phone again, I had no new calls, so I decided to review the message that Jacob sent last night.

"I m Sorry I cant explain everything now Bells, but please

can you go along with the story,at least for now? I promise you that as soon as I can

I will explain you everything,I m so sorry that you were hurt,I really do!

I hope don't hate me right now, Jacob XXXX"

I thought about calling him,and ask further explanations,but I was too angry, and the answers I wanted were not to be given by the mobile phone,I had to speak with him personally and ASAP.

I was going home today, my wounds were healed and there was no reason to be here anymore, so I was very grateful to leave. The room wasn't helping my melancholy and already precarious mood.

The room was white and greenish,in the addition to the machines and a brown chair in front of the bed, it was quite cold and naked, I looked to my side and saw the balloons that Angela brought and that made me smyle,the card that accompanied them was just a wishing well message and was signed by all our friends as well as some encouraging messages.

I decided to get up, I had the Green gown on, and I would have to change if I wanted to leave before the dinner, the food here was just horrible..The clothes I worn during the attack were beyond salvation, and I felt sorry for my favorite pants, but at least my favorite tennis escaped without major blemishes.

I got up and drove myself to the bathroom I shared with the patient in the next room, and as I entered and saw the mirror above the sink,witch was one of the objects that I avoided since my last birthday, but Angela and Ben left me curious and I decided to look, what I saw surprised me. At first I was in doubt whether it would even be me, but I was alone in a closed compartment, so it couldn't be anyone else.

They were right, I was different, I had gained a lot of weight, _I was far from being fat but had regained some color and replace the dens which were my cheeks lately .I had noticed that my appetite had improved a lot in two days and I thought it was the medication that was causing this effect, but the truth is that I was constantly hungry. Not only was my face changed, but I also had retrieved some of my limited curves and my sloppy hair had a silky appaerence and shine to it, ... weird! I Tried not to think too much about it and decided to get dressed.

Charlie had brought everything together in a small bag with the toiletries, I open it and rescued from the inside, some black skinny jeans, a basic white t-shirt and a hoodie, then reach for some underwear. I imagined Charlie in my underwear drawer and blushed furiously, so I knew It should have been even more difficult for him, and I felt sorry for my father, for having to go through all this to take care of me when I didn't took the minimum effort to take care of myself.

I put the t-shirt and jacket that were more tight than usual, but when I dressed the pants I as assured that I had gained more weight than thought, the pants were too tight, to the point of having to lie down to push them up and close the button, that was a good sign, I had bought these pants less than a month when my other pants were too loose to wear,without showing Charlie how lean I really was. When I seated on the wedge to put my tennis on i saw that the pants were not only to tight, but they were also too short. Well, this is what happens when you let Charlie do laundry with the new washing I was not that different after all.

So I just brush my hair and teeth When I heard a knock on the door and saw Dr. Osmond entered even before I could answer, he wanted to make a last check before letting me go.

He was tall and dark, in his 30s and despite being good looking was not nearly as attractive as the Doctor he was replacing, although I had to admit that the latter had an unfair advantage in relation to him. He had come from Maryland to replace Carlisle, when he suddenly left the hospital, reidirecting all of his patients, including me, to the new doctor, that meant he knew Carlisle, was that how Alice knew what happened?

-Well Bella, you look great ,you recovering very well, the scars are almost invisible guess you will not have any problem going back home.I just recommend you wait 1 or 2 more days to go back to school, and if you feel any pain in the arm, do not be Alarmed, the muscles take longer to recover than the skin, and I'm going to prescribe some pills for you to take, and no unnecessary effort ok?-he was very friendly and a very positive presence, no wonder that Charlie likes him so much, or maybe liked him for who because he wasn't HIS father.

- Sure and thanks for everything.

-Don't have to thank Bella, Good luck and give the florest adventures a break for a while ok?

He blinked his eye and smiled, I tried to smile back but that story,that I have gone wandering in the forest alone was really starting to piss me of.

I got home around 17h in the afternoon, the trip was quick and silent, Charlie went to get me in the patrol car and left me at home to return to work, it was too early to make dinner and I didnt feel like sleep again , so I decided to get a little home cleaning done.

Once I finished, I was still full of energy so I decided to do something special for dinner to apologize to Charlie the all situation I checked the contents of the fridge and decided to make the cannelonis he loved.

While filling the rolls , I came to think of Alice and when was I seeing her again, she said soon didn't she? While this does not assure me of anything she may have said that just to make me feel good, its not like not she has not lied to me before, I thought grudgingly.

And once again I felt angry with is better to feell something beyond the constant emptiness in my chest, right?

No,no is not.I can do this anymore, I'll end up pushing everyone away, and hurting the people that I love.

HE didn't want me, he got fed up of me and hurt me deeply, destroyed the best in me, and I gave him permission to do so as well to take all of my choices, including the choice to hurt myself .. is not that I want to do it, but who is he to control myself this way when he left without looking back? I learned to live a half alive, and I had tried to live it the best I could.

He promised it would be as if it never existed, but what kind of promise is that,does he also decides what are my memories? He may have taken my stuff, but I know what happened between us and I remember everything like it was today, the truth is that I changed the moment that he trusted me and told me about his world, he changed the perspective I had of my own surroundings I can not just go back and pretend that nothing happened. The worst thing is that all the people with whom I could talk, he took them with him, and once again left me no choice but to isolate myself and keep to myself everything I felt and choke on my own pain,or tell someone be locked up in some ve been exposing yourself to danger to hear him, isn't that crazy? Even my subconscious made fun of me,I was so furious that I broke the salad bowl I was holding, scattering glass everywhere.

I took a deep breath and fetch the broom.

The truth is I never resented the fact that he did not want me anymore, I always knew he was too good for me, but he broke every promise he made me, so I do not owe him nothing, I was going to live my life as I wanted live it.I would do everything possible to deserve the love and pride of the people who steel cared for me.

With this new resolution I prepared the salad into a new container and went up to my room.

When I entered I found a note on the bed that i didn't saw when I landed my bag .. got the ticket folded in half and open a beautiful lettering was a message from Alice.

"Bella I hope you have arrived safely. I could not visit you today, i was busy with the move, I hope you don't mind.

I had the freedom to buy you some new clothes that are now stowed in your wardrobe ... Do not get upset, I knew what happened to what you had dressed .. was not a big loss to fashion but you know you were missing new clothing and that it is useless to argue with me :-)

Looking forward to see you in school on Monday, will be so fun .. hihihi

Alice

PS: Do not even think about bringing me back the clothe,theys are not my size or my style."

Even in paper she is annoying, not to mention the invasion of privacy, doesn't these people have a mobile phone. But I could not hide my happiness.

On Monday? She was really back, could not believe it, was it just her? Never mind, she came back and I could not be happier I filled my chest and for the first time in a long time longed for tomorrow.

Note from Author: First wanted to say sorry for this chapter, I know that does not reveal much, but I promise that the next one changed everything!

And I wanted to thank those who read and commented, is my first fiction, and was about to give up after the first chapter, so thank you for your encouragement Ninha Souma.


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